After nine to ten months, we're finally a licensed foster family. Our first act was to change agencies (so many issues with the first one, hence it took so long to become licensed). Now that we're transferred over, we requested they update our license to include either boys or girls (because our first agency said we had to choose). I told her that if there was a boy in our age range who they didn't have a home for, that would be totally fine, but since there weren't any who needed a home when we were first able, my preference would be to have a girl for our first foster. Some people get all offended when there's a gender preference. I don't see why. In a way, boys would maybe be easier since we have two and know how to handle a lot of the boy stuff. That said: I have the entire age range covered in terms of startup clothes (I have at least three outfits in each size). If we ended up getting a boy in Gabe's current size, there would be a harder time distinguishing whose clothes are whose (although totally do'able) whereas I have everything good-to-go for a girl. Let's be real: I've always wanted a girl. I know they can be psychos just as easily, and I'm not a really girly-girl myself and a part of me uber loves being a boymom...but a part of me still wants to be able to mother a girl. Add to that the fact that we chose our age range to try and make sure it was Gabe's friend age range as compared to Gabe seeing it as another baby taking up way too much of my time and energy again (although at some point, I could totally see fostering a baby/toddler). Let's be real: I thought that Gabe's best friends were always girls because those were the kids easiest to play with (about 3/4 of the kids we've met around Gabe's age are girls...it feels like girls are pretty much the only option most of the time). But...during the several months Gabe was in preschool (after we moved here, he was REALLY struggling as there weren't kids easily available in our transition location and then once we moved here, we tried for months to find friends his age and there simply aren't people who go to the park and on playdates around here like there were in CA) he had the options of best boy friends or best girl friends. I think there were more boys in his class than girls. But...he still chose Lainey (f) as his best friend and Peyton (f) as his second best friend. He'll still play with the other kids (m&f alike) but has a definite preference for those two. So...I just figured that since he seems to lean toward girls as his favorite friends, I'd go with that.
Point: we're still waiting for our license to be updated. She said that *sometimes* it happens within a week, but is usually about two weeks...but if they're really backed up, it could be a month before our license is updated...which really stinks (and I did let her know we'd still love to do respite care in the meantime, but nothing's come up). So in *theory* we should be entirely good to go and will HOPEFULLY get matched with our first foster kiddo sometime this month...but then I think about how it took the better part of a year to even get licensed...and then I think about how it's already 1/3 of the way through the month and I try really hard not to get discouraged. We all know that once I decide to go for something, I go hard core. I totally acknowledge that I don't know the best timing for everything...but it's hard when I want something so bad and we've worked really hard to get it and it just feels like a continuous waiting game. I totally know that there will be lots of struggles once we're matched too so I'm *trying* to take advantage of things being a bit more slow now, but still... Patience seems to be the ongoing lesson I need to learn for my entire life.
